A dear friend of mine recently expressed to me how much she values our friendship, what I bring to our community and how it is exciting to watch me grow. A compliment to me from her heart, for sure. However, something struck me as off. I wasn't sure what it was. And it bothered me that I was a little bothered! I wasn't bothered/annoyed at the compliment. I was bothered/something didn't feel accurate. At first I thought, "What the heck, Ranee?!? Can't you just take a heartfelt compliment?" But, I've learned to be curious when things feel off, so I sat with it. (Stick with me folks!)
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As I sat with it, I realized what felt off for me was the word "grow".
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I realized what I had been experiencing the past few years, in truth, is a reclamation. A reclamation of who I truly am. Of my Heart. The Me that I can feel and remember from before the ugly in my life. A shedding of thought patterns and tendencies I had picked up from a childhood & young adulthood full of hardship and capital "T" trauma. A shedding of
should-dos. A shedding of a way of operating from external expectations instead of intuition. I am reclaiming my Self, my life and creating space for the Divine to flow.
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It has been a process of multiple cycles. Cycle after cycle of descending into the dark, finding love for what is there, and allowing Spirit to bring me back up into the light to see what gifts await. (And there is always a beautiful gift of wisdom!)
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Sometimes it is a quick cycle. Other times it has taken months. I have learned what it means to truly trust the Divine. To be connected to Earth. To trust the cycles of Life, Death & Rebirth. To trust in the cycles of Nature. And so much more.
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As we descend into the the darkest time of the year, Winter Solstice, I encourage you to follow Mother Earth's lead & have courage to make the descent into your darkness.
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What part of you needs held? What hurts are still asking to be seen? What is at the root of the disconnect, the overreactions, less than desirable choices? Those nagging things that keep popping up. We all have them. We are human. There is no getting around it!
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The work is hard, but the prize is the reclamation of YOU. Your gifts to offer the world. Your unique clarity and perspective. And in that place you will find true sovereignty. Strength. You will be calm when everything else is chaotic because you will have shed what you're finished with, reclaimed what is yours and grown stronger in the process.
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.......And then you will start again. A new cycle. :)
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There are so many tools that have helped me on my path, but Sound has been the most influential for me. When experienced consistently, it will clear the mental clutter, assist in releasing stuck emotions, open the heart and calm the mind - allowing the Soul to lead you through your healing. I am here if you'd like guidance.
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I am excited for this upcoming season of literal darkness - Winter. To dream. To plan. To find what is next. I wish the same and more for you.
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In coherence,
Ranee
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